Coming Out at Christmas
by AbsoluteAnarchy
Summary: Oneshot. A secret can be difficult to keep, especially if it involves love, and Sasori's feelings for Deidara have developed into just that. Trouble is, the blonde also happens to be his platonic friend. And completely oblivious. And as straight as a steel ruler. Oh joy. With Christmas fast-approaching, Sasori is soon put to the ultimate test of patience. WARNING: SasoDei. AU.


** Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Akatsuki or any of the characters/concepts featured. All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. **

* * *

'Psst, Sasori! Whaddaya want for Christmas, hm?'

'As I've said before, Deidara, I don't want anything.'

'Come on, bud! It's tradition, hm!'

'We're seventeen. We're too old.'

'Christmas has no age limit, hm!'

'...Quit pestering me and get on with your work.'

Deidara heaved an exaggerated sigh and flicked his long, blond hair. He leaned back in his chair and surveyed the classroom, a pen lid between his lips.

The coving was hidden by a thick layer of tinsel, along with a few snippets of fake holly, and hand-made decorations hung from the ceiling. In the corner stood a small, artificial Christmas tree, complete with baubles and blinking fairy lights.

Predictably, none of his fellow students were working; most had switched seats to be with their friendship groups and were now chatting and laughing with smiles on their faces.

The only person with their head down was Sasori. His hair, a messy mop of red, acted as a curtain, shielding him from the outside word, and his pen was nothing more than a mere blur. Deidara gave his shoulder a tentative nudge.

'Hey, mate, no one gives a shit about the work. Just tell me what you want, hm.'

A low growl emanated from deep within Sasori's throat.

'For the last time, save your money, and if you jog my pen, I will kill you.'

'Ooh, which reindeer shat in your cornflakes?' muttered Deidara, crossing his arms and pouting.

It was the same every year; Sasori never asked for anything, not even for his birthday. It was odd. After all, the guy wasn't exactly humble in character, and he was an artist. One would assume he'd want something from that field at least, be it paintbrushes, pastels, or otherwise.

Deidara didn't understand it.

A gift was a token of their friendship, a sign of brotherly affection! Not only that, but presents were a huge part of Christmas! Clearly Sasori was too much of a stubborn bastard to comply with that rule. Deidara guessed that he liked to make things difficult, that he was a short, pale version of the Grinch.

However, what he didn't know was that Sasori was trying his best _not_ to complicate things.

As with every other year, he hadn't been entirely honest. He held a secret, one so dark that not even Rudolph's nose would be of any use. It was just so shameful and so embarrassing, and he worked so hard to hide it behind a cold countenance. The secret was, as you might have guessed, that he did want something for Christmas after all. In fact, he had wanted this something for the past four Christmases, and it was the one thing he could never have.

He wanted his best friend, and not in a companionable way. No, his feelings for Deidara completely eclipsed the thing known as friendship.

He loved the blond, through and through.

Deidara was his ideal match, his twin flame, his soul mate. Everything about the boy was perfect, right down to his speech impediment and crappy art skills. He also flashed a lot of his figure in the P.E changing rooms; he was fine with a capital F.

Sasori fantasied about that body every night.

But alas, Deidara was just that; a fantasy. He was purely unobtainable because, when it came down to it, he could have anyone he wanted, not to mention he was as straight as a steel ruler. Thus Sasori was forever destined to drift through the impenetrable void known as the friend-zone, clinging to his little raft of despair.

When it came to presents, he was actually doing Deidara a huge favour. The last thing he wanted was to reveal his sexuality; it would make their bond awkward, or worse, break it entirely.

The smoothest course of action was to just keep denying everything...

Suddenly he was jerked from his thoughts by a loud twanging sound.

Deidara had found a ruler.

'How about now?' he asked. 'Have you thought of anything now, pal?'

Sasori dropped his pen and pinched the bridge of his nose. He loathed those words; pal, buddy, mate. They were just harsh reminders of how Deidara viewed him; as a friend and nothing more. Not a lover or a spouse, a platonic friend.

He sighed. 'Will you please shut up? I'm too tired for this-'

'But I wanna know, hm! Every year Santa brings you nothing! It's not fair! Now tell me, dammit!'

Sasori opened one eye, only to find Deidara's eager face inches from his own. Not a single thing was out of place, not even an eyelash. It took an enormous amount of effort for Sasori to control his body temperature. As it was, his cheeks glowed a rosy pink. He narrowed his eyes. 'If I tell you something to buy, do you promise to let me work in peace?'

Deidara nodded enthusiastically, a grin plastered on his face. 'Yessir, hm!'

'Fine. Get me...pencils. Lots of pencils.'

Delighted, Deidara performed a mini fist pump underneath the table. 'Sweet! We got there in the end, hm!'

He held up his hand, fingers splayed.

'High-five me, bro.'

Sasori gave him a bored look, followed by a weak pat. It did nothing to dampen Deidara's spirit.

'Fuck yeah, hm!'

Sasori rolled his eyes, but he couldn't keep a smile from playing on his lips. Deep down, he found that behaviour irresistibly cute; it showed just how young and child-like Deidara truly was. No wonder he didn't like studying; he was type to run around outside and scrape his knees on the playground floor. How would his future girlfriend cope with all that boundless energy?

Sasori's smile melted away instantly. Damn, now he felt sad.

Quick, he needed to think of something positive to lift the mood. What was for dinner? Was it something nice? Something spicy? Perhaps. There would definitely be a candy cane or two for dessert, and that was good, right? Oh screw it. Who was he trying to fool? No number of candy canes could replace Deidara. As a matter of fact, nothing could.

He slumped forward across his desk, using one hand to keep his head up. It made his left cheek seem very chubby, not that he cared; he was too busy staring out of the nearest window, his mahogany eyes surveying the world.

The sky was a dull white, overcast, and no snow fell from the clouds.

It was at this moment, for no specific reason, that Sasori made one last, foolish plea to whatever deity was up there.

He whispered, his eyes tightly shut, 'Please...please let this year be different...'

The next day, during the last lesson, he received an answer to his prayer.

'It appears that principal Tsunade has decided to host a dance this year,' said the teacher, Kakashi, a small slip of paper in his hands. 'It'll take place Wednesday next week and shall be known as...the _Snow Ball_. How very original...'

Unfortunately, no one caught his sarcasm; they were too busy cheering. Several students had even fashioned aeroplanes from scrap paper, said crafts floating all around the room.

Sasori looked positively mortified. He stared straight ahead, his eyes wide, his hair limp, and his jaw slack. Sure, he had asked for different, but he hadn't wanted this! Not this!

Meanwhile Deidara found the whole thing absolutely hilarious, especially the wordplay. He slapped Sasori on the back, as though the two of them were sharing a joke at the local pub. 'Haha! Get it, pal? Snow Ball! That's clever, hm!'

Sasori ignored him, and instead began fretfully chewing on his bottom lip.

Dances were his sworn enemy.

Nothing was worse than a crowd of hormonal teenagers stuffed into a single hall. The atmosphere would be hot and heavy, and people were bound to get rowdy. Not only that, but dances meant dates. No, not the squishy, dried fruit. In this context a date would be someone to waltz with, to share a magical night with.

Of course his first thought had been his best friend.

After all, a Christmas dance with Deidara would be a dream come true; slow music, dim lights, the closeness of their bodies, and perhaps a kiss beneath the mistletoe...

Sasori groaned inwardly and crossed his legs underneath the table. Oh for crying out loud, what was wrong with him? He couldn't think like that! Besides, Deidara would surely take one of the girls instead; he constantly admired them and flirted with them. Stupid bitches. Well, all except Hinata; Sasori found it difficult to throw any malice in her direction.

'Hey, Sasori, hm?'

Sasori turned to his crush with a false smile. 'Yes?'

Deidara looked around a bit, as if to make sure no one was listening in. Then he smiled and lowered his voice to a cheeky whisper. 'So who're ya gonna take, hm?'

Sasori blinked stupidly. Deidara's pearly teeth had temporarily erased his memory.

'...Huh?'

Deidara laughed. 'To the dance, man! Who're ya gonna take to the dance, hm?'

Sasori grunted and rudely turned his head away, his curls bobbing with the motion. 'I'm not going.'

Well technically, that was his only real option.

Deidara grinned and ruffled his hair. 'Aw, come on, pal! Don't be such a Scrooge, hm! Look, what if I set you up? How about Tenten? She your type?'

Sasori flushed an unattractive ruby colour. Deidara was trying to hook him up with someone else. How incredibly insensitive.

'I said I'm not going,' he muttered.

'Alright, Tenten equals no-no, hm. How about Ino? She has a nice rack...'

Sasori glared at him. 'No.'

'Konan?'

'No.'

'Hinata?'

'No.'

'...Anko, hm?'

Sasori growled. He had an awful feeling that this was going to continue for a while.

It did.

Fuelled by a potent mixture of sugar and excitement, Deidara continued to bug him throughout the entire class. The blond lounged in his chair, absentmindedly sucking a candy cane that he had stolen from the cafeteria at lunch. He did little work and suggested a new female every five or so minutes.

Sasori didn't even know there were that many girls in the school.

Regardless, his patience was wearing dangerously thin. What pissed him even more was that fact that Deidara would sometimes throw in little compliments.

This girl has nice hair, this one has a nice ass, this one can play the violin...

It was enough to make Sasori's blood boil and, by the end of the day, he was ready to stab something in the face. Never before had he been so angry and frustrated. Then again, never before had his friend acted like such a colossal prick. In fact, Deidara was still blabbing by the time they left the classroom, determined to list a suitable female.

They were the only people that had decided to take the long hallway out.

'How about Matsuri?' he asked. 'She has a thing for Gaara and you look a bit like him...'

Sasori dug his nails into his trousers. 'No,' he hissed.

'Tayuya? She plays the flute-'

'No. I told you; I'm not going.'

Deidara sighed and folded his arms behind his head, kissing his teeth. 'Damn, you're way too picky, hm. How about Sakura? Actually, she's mine. How about...Temari?'

That was the final straw, the one that broke the camel's back. Sasori just couldn't take it anymore.

Without stopping to think things over, he did a sharp turn and tackled his best friend, roughly pinning the boy against the nearest wall.

Deidara hadn't even seen it coming. He struggled a bit, a mixture of surprise and outrage written across his face.

'Dude, what the-'

Sasori grabbed his collar and lunged forward, smashing their mouths together in a very awkward way. His mind whirred and his heart raced in his chest.

Holy crap, had he gone insane? What the hell was he doing? He had no idea; all he knew was that he had gone too far to back out...

Fuck it. He was only human and he couldn't help himself any longer. The consequences could wait; Deidara's lips were all that mattered now. They were far better than he had imagined; soft and plush, a lovely texture, and they tasted of sugar.

Sasori melted into the gesture, his eyelids fluttering shut and his shoulders drooping. This moment was heavenly, the stuff of dreams, and he could feel his rage seeping away bit by bit. He sighed through his nose and tilted his head, lazily worming his tongue past the other boy's lips, poking and feeling every available inch.

He moaned in gratitude.

'Mmm...'

Meanwhile, Deidara simply took everything in his stride.

He stood perfectly still, his eyes bulging and his arms close to his body. His brow furrowed at the peculiar sensation and he grunted when he felt himself being nibbled. He could feel Sasori's tongue, wet and desperate, and he could hear his friend panting softly.

'Ha...ha...mmmah...'

How...odd.

Actually, it was rather...nice, in a weird way.

Hey, this was his first kiss with another male.

...

_Male._

As in, a human with a dick.

Wait a minute...

All at once, he snapped back to reality. Disgusted, he gave the redhead a firm push backwards.

'Woah, woah, woah!' he yelled, blood rushing to his cheeks. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve. 'Not cool, man! Not cool! What the fuck was that, hm?!'

Sasori stared at him, stern and red-faced. That tone pierced his heart; he had never seen Deidara so repulsed by something before. It was enough to make his voice crack.

'I love you,' he murmured, quietly.

Deidara gawked at him as though he had just sprouted a pair of wings. 'Say wha?! Hey, man, this ain't funny! Stop pissing about-'

'I'm not joking, Deidara. I love you, and I swear to God; if you say another girl's name, I'll throttle you.'

Deidara blinked a few times, slowly absorbing the information like a cheap sponge. If his jaw had been unhinged, it would've hit the floor. It was the kind of look you'd give a carnival freak, or a mangled squirrel at the side of the road.

It broke Sasori's heart.

He turned to go, speed-walking down the hallway with his lips pursed and his face on fire, his hair swishing. His shoes made a clacking sound on the polished floor. He felt utterly humiliated; he needed to get away. Forget romance, forget living in the moment, and forget the dance. He needed to go home, have a shower, and barricade himself in his room.

But Deidara had other ideas.

He scampered along behind his friend, his words as quick as his feet. 'Hey, wait! Slow down! You can't just say shit like that and leave, hm! What the hell are we supposed to do now?!'

Sasori shrugged him off and rounded a corner. Deidara scowled and reached out to grab his shoulder. 'Hey, mate, listen to me, hm!'

'Don't call me that!'

'Why not, hm?'

Sasori spun to face him, eyes blazing. He bellowed, his voice echoing around the hallway.

'Because I fucking _love_ you, you idiot! I don't want to be your "buddy" or your "pal" or any of that bullshit! I want to be your boyfriend! Get it through your thick skull!'

Deidara recoiled as though a cobra had just spat at him. He fell silent.

Sasori sighed and massaged his temples. 'Look, I've felt this way for a long time and I thought that-'

'No, no...it's cool,' mumbled Deidara, awkwardly. 'I...I get it, hm...'

This thing had really taken him off guard.

Sasori was _gay_.

He was also a damn good actor; Deidara had been completely oblivious to everything! He had to be the densest man on Earth! Of course, he liked the redhead too, but as a friend, a best friend. Sasori was someone he trusted with his life, not someone with whom he wanted to _spend_ his life. He scratched the back of his neck and searched his brain for the right thing to say. Sensitivity wasn't his strong point, hence his previous reaction.

'Well, uh...I'm flattered and all but...you know I'm straight, hm...'

A portion of Sasori crumbled inside. Well what else had he been expecting? That a quick smooch would make Deidara bisexual? That they would ride off into the sunset? That they would make sweet love on Christmas Day? None of those things were ever going to happen. The reality of the situation was that he had flown off the handle, snogged his best friend, and then poured his heart out.

He gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing.

'Sorry.'

'...I swear I didn't know, hm...'

'It's fine...look, I understand if you don't want to be friends anymore. I don't want things to be awkward between us and I don't want-'

Deidara held up a hand for silence. 'Hey,' he said, a lopsided smile on his lips. 'Don't even think about playing that card, hm. I'm always gonna be your friend, even if you do like cock instead of tits.'

'But...the kiss-'

'Never happened,' said Deidara, simply. He grinned and held out his hand for a handshake. 'Nothing changes, hm. Deal?'

Sasori stared at the hand, somewhat astonished. Deidara was actually accepting him.

It wasn't as good as the two of them becoming an item, but it was still wonderful. They could keep hanging out and spending time together. Everything would just be out in the open, that was all. It was better than nothing by far.

The corners of Sasori's lips twitched upwards and he took Deidara's hand in his own, shaking it firmly.

Things would return to normal.

* * *

Things didn't return to normal.

In fact, the next few days proved quite tedious. Despite their promise, all communication ground to halt, both of them feeling too embarrassed to approach the other. It was a like an invisible barrier had been put up between them. Sasori's little meltdown had opened a rift, and at the worst possible time.

Both of them found it difficult, Deidara in particular. After giving the love confession a bit more thought, he had arrived at a shocking conclusion.

_Sasori wanted to have sex with him._

Well that hadn't been said out loud, but it was most definitely implied, and it lodged a ton of unwanted images in his mind, a world of perverted possibilities. He just couldn't look at his friend in the same way anymore.

So, despite it being the warmest time of the year, their bond began fizzling out like a damp campfire, washed away in the hustle and bustle of Christmas. Life continued and the school hallways were gradually filled with more tinsel and ornaments. Posters began cropping up, all of them advertising the dreaded Snow Ball. Normally teachers used nothing but cheap fonts and scattered clip art images, but with this they had actually made an effort.

Or rather Sai had.

He was an excellent art student, and a bit of a social pariah, but the fact that they had hired him meant they were deadly serious about the whole ordeal.

When Deidara stopped to read one on Friday, to satisfy his curiosity, he couldn't help but cringe and screw his nose up. His view of the event had become severely jaded; all it did now was remind him of Sasori's not-so-secret pining, and it made him feel incredibly guilty.

At first he turned his back on it and hastily continued towards the school entrance, but then he paused mid-step. Why, he did not know. After all, he could leave, go home, and enjoy the weekend; nothing was stopping him.

Still,_ something_ made him turn right around and re-read that poster, five times over in fact.

He leant against the wall and sighed, bowing his head so that his hair fell over his shoulders. Sometimes a guy had to do what a guy had to do. But was it really the right thing? Was the sacrifice truly worth it? Was he mentally prepared to go through with something like that?

_Yes._

Sasori was still someone he cared about - his closest, most trusted ally -and he couldn't escape that fact. So what if the guy swung the other way? So what if he didn't like boobs? So what if he was a little bit lovestruck? He still deserved a break and it was Deidara's duty, as a friend, to give him one.

He would give Sasori the _ultimate_ Christmas present.

So on Monday he made sure to reach school a little earlier than usual, entering the classroom as soon as he arrived. Thankfully, no one else had bothered to turn up yet. No one that is, except for the resident red-headed workaholic.

Deidara scowled.

Sasori was sitting in the corner by the window, his head down and his arms folded around him, almost as though he were sleeping. Or crying.

Deidara sighed and strolled over to his friend's desk, slamming his hands down onto the wood. It was time to fix things.

'Go with me, hm,' he said.

Sasori slowly lifted his head as though it were made from granite. He blinked when he noticed his friend's fingers, which were only a few centimetres from his nose. The nails were perfect. He stared at them for a while with droopy, mocha eyes, and his voice was sickeningly melancholy.

'What is it, Deidara? You don't have to force yourself to talk to me-'

'Hey, snap out of it, will ya? I'm asking you to go with me, hm.'

'...Go with you where?'

'To the dance, hm. You and me. That's what you want, right?'

Sasori's head snapped upwards faster than lightening.

'What?'

Deidara sighed heavily and pulled up a chair, flopping down into it. 'You can take me to the Snow Ball,' he said. 'Fuck the pencils. This'll be your Christmas present, hm.'

'I can't ask you to do that; other people will think-'

'Is this what you want though, hm? For real?'

'Well...yes-'

'Then you're gonna take me and you're gonna like it, hm,' muttered Deidara. 'We can be...a couple for the evening.'

Sasori looked as though he were about to explode with joy. This was too good to be true; he felt like a six-year-old kid on Christmas morning.

His heart was doing backflips, for Christ's sake!

'You'll be my date?' he asked, clasping his hands together.

'Yeah...'

'And we can slow dance?'

Deidara huffed and folded his arms across his chest. He puffed out his cheeks, which were now a very deep red. This was turning out to be so mushy and lovey-dovey; it made him feel strange inside.

'...Yes, hm.'

'And can we-'

'Look, just do what you gotta do,' interjected Deidara, who was now full-on red in the face. 'I'm yours for the night, hm.'

He hung his head, not knowing what type of response he would receive. When his ears were greeted with silence, he looked up.

'Uh...'

Sasori was gazing at him with heavy-lidded eyes, both shrouded in eyelashes. He also wore a gentle smile, as though something had touched his very soul. It was like a cheesy scene from a Christmas rom-com, right before the main characters declare their undying love.

Deidara found it disconcerting.

He fidgeted in his seat, blushing profusely. 'Don't look at me like that, man. Anyway, this is a one-time thing so don't get too happy, hm.'

'Thank you...'

'Yeah, yeah, just...just make the most of it, okay?'

True to his word, when the Snow Ball finally did come about, Deidara took Sasori with him.

Not Sakura, not Ino, not Temari, nor any other young woman. No, instead he found himself dancing with a member of his own gender, one that also wore a tuxedo. Never in his life had he entertained this possibility. It was so surreal.

Still, it was what Sasori wanted, and he was only too happy to oblige.

He swayed awkwardly from side to side, his friend's head beneath his chin and wisps of scarlet hair tickling his nose like phoenix feathers. He just had to be very careful with his hands, which were loosely linked around the redhead's waist. It wouldn't be right for him to touch or hold anything...unnecessary.

After all, this was a present, right? A favour and nothing else.

Meanwhile, Sasori was busy floating on cloud nine.

His eyes were half-closed, his face a picture of total bliss and relaxation. Deidara was actually holding him; he could practically feel the blond's heartbeat, slow and steady to match their movements. This had to be the best present he had ever received, for Christmas or otherwise. It didn't matter if it wasn't real; it felt real, and that was all he could ask for.

It had taken Deidara a great deal of courage to do something so kind; many of the other students were already staring at them, particularly those hovering by the buffet table. Apparently none of them had ever seen two men slow dance before, not that Sasori cared. They could look all they liked; he was finally living his fantasy and he didn't give a shit about anything else.

He nuzzled his friend's neck. The boy even smelt like candy canes.

'Sasori, hm?'

'Yeah?'

'Is this what you hoped it would be, hm? I mean, am I doing it right or...?'

Sasori gave a small sigh of contentment. 'Yes, you are...'

He felt a set of fingers comb through his hair, slowly, as though the owner were marveling at the curls. After about a minute, he heard Deidara speak again, though this time his voice seemed a little different. It seemed more hushed and was accompanied by a tighter grip.

'...Hey, Sasori?'

'Yeah?'

'Merry Christmas, hm.'

'Merry Christmas, Deidara.'

* * *

_Merry delayed Christmas! XD_

_This was completed a long while ago, and I did have a sequel planned to celebrate New Year's, but I never felt sure about it. A huge thank you to Faint Reality for looking this over and giving me my confidence back. *Hugs* :') Maybe I'll write the sequel some time; what do you guys think? :D_

_I hope you enjoyed. Love ya! XD_


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